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-pokes- On April 07, 2017 at 5:16 PM by Megs


I was a queen once.

I promise i was. The memories wouldn’t dare lie to me. There was a time when i was draped in the finest pale linens, clear crystals surrounding my body that glittered in the light whenever i moved. How graceful and beautiful i was then, a walking spirit that shines in the shadows. How different i looked with those pale linens tattered and strange it was to see the crimson stain the marble floors of my childhood home and taint the dress i wore. You wouldn’t begin to understand me or what darkness dwells in such a pretty and petite mind and i won’t be one to share it with you, nor anyone else reader. But all too often I find myself taken back to those days of old, the good, and sadly, the bad.

And now?

Now I crumble into myself, breaking from the inside out. The wetness from the puddles below me seeping into my clothes and running invisible fingers along my bare skin underneath. It is cold here, on this lonely dark floor. Cold and miserable. My head is screaming, heart pounding so loud i can hear the blood that is supposed to keep me alive in my ears. Blood is life isn’t it? Right now all i hear is death. I wish it to stop, to have all blood in my body stop, caring not if it is the end. I have died before and here I am, i could do it again. But not this, i cannot keep going through this. Seconds feel like minutes that turn to hours and then days while i remain trapped in this ravaged mentality.

And then just as quickly as it came, it leaves me. A hazy cloud of comfort and cooling tones ills me from my mind to my fingertips and i shiver. My fatigued body collapses completely to the filthy floor, dirt and debris from such an abysmal place splattering my clothes, my arms and the side of my face. I do not care. I am free. I lay there for a moment, feeling a presence upon me. I can’t move, can’t think and i can’t care. I breathe, desperate for oxygen that i did not know my lungs had not had. leave me i do not say it out loud but i think it. leave me here to my demise. the presence does not, for how could i expect it to when it does not hear what i say.

I half turn, eyelids parting slightly as my watery gaze fixates on his dark figure. His lips part in a fake smile, a facade of his willingness to help me. I am no fool, older than i appear for the lifetimes i have had are vast. I sigh, closing my eyes and hoping that when i open them that fake smile upon his appealing face should be gone yet when i open them i am rewarded with his outstretched hand. How miserable i must look for he has caught me in such a battered, damsel in distress state. Pathetic.

I glance at his hand warily, no doubt he has given it to me out of pity. Can’t just leave the little dove out here, no, that would be far too cruel. Another soft sigh escapes me and i reach for that hand, using my other hand to push off of the ground. I needed him more than i would care to admit. His waves of coolin peace saved me from the raging fires inside and i also could not stand without him. My balance isn’t all there and i grip his hand as i feel myself wobbling, my other hand flying to grasp at anything and meeting his shirt. I cling to him, face meeting chest. Damn. the waterworks come, terrible wracking sobs that shake my body and cause massive tears to flow my eyes. I didn’t think i had any more water in my body to cry and yet i do. They streak down my grimy cheeks, i can feel strands of my hair find their way to my lips and sticking to my face like glue. I am a mess and this stranger just came at the wrong time. Poor guy, i feel for him, I really do.

My sobs quiet, body shaking as i cling to him, face buried into him as if i have known him for years. Finally, i remove myself,hands floating above his chest as i look at them tremble. It is almost as if they are unsure of themselves for letting him go. I sniff, attempting and failing to tuck some of my light strands behind my ears. I dare not look upon his face, and while staring at my feet i manage to mumble a shaky, and broken, “…”

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