Happy 6th Anniversary
An Anniversary Interview With....... Them All!
(because I'm being different this year :P )
What is the name of your best friend?
Matteo: His full name? Can I just Say Alex? Its Alex.
Frost: Someone already said my friend but I will say it again. Alexander.
Dorian: Sebastian Felix Ellington Brownlow Cust Aragona
Why do you consider this person your best friend?
Matteo: Ah! I've known him for more than a thousand years, if he is not my friend by now I would be concerned.
Tobias: I....like him the....most best. He is...my favourite and....my Birdie.
Frost: I find him agreeable. I find very few people agreeable.
Dorian: He is my husband, my best friend, my soul mate, he is everything.
Azzy: No one else would be my friend, seriously, she's like....it
Arlo: Is this supposed to be like a really deep and meaningful answer? What did the others say? Like.....is this supposed to be profound? I just like her, I became her friend because I liked her. Now I love her. Actually I think she just told me I was her friend? Does that count too?
Imagine you and your friend are stuck on a desert island how would you escape?
Matteo: I could summon my teleporting horse to teleport us from the Island but there would not be much need, Mon Amie. I have seen Alexander, through sheer will alone, build a bridge by throwing sticks into the water. I assure you all I need do is tell him we cannot get off the island and he will, somehow, prove me wrong and thereby save us both.
Tobias: I do not....like this game.
Frost: If the island is quiet and has a reliable food source I see no reason to leave it at all.
Dorian: I don't understand the question. Forgive me, but can we not simply just get back on the boat that brought us to the island? I am quiet confused by where the boat has gone? Perhaps I might just draw us another boat.
Azzy: I can literally run on water and Sera can command it. Is this supposed to be a hard challenge? Are the others actually failing this? Next.
Arlo: Oh shit. Is there food on the island, I mean....for either of us? Can we like build a raft? Does that work or is that a movie thing? Can I phone a friend? Seb knows all about this shit I....oh wait....i can teleport. Babe ive got this don't worry. I'll teleport us off.
You have gotten off the island. You have returned to the city. A zombie apocalypse has broken out in your absence. What weapons do you and your friend use to fight them?
Matteo: We are at our best with swords. A sword and a shield for him. Two swords for me. Although an AK-47 will work too. We can use anything. We are, how you say, masterful at war.
Tobias: A cow and.....three....shoes and.....a fork
Frost: I am a walking weapon, what else do we need? Alex is good with a spear though. He can have a spear.
Dorian: I'm sorry what is a zombie? This seems un-necessarily violent? Are they perhaps protesting about something? Might we not simply question their demands I, oh, brains? They want to eat the brains? That seems terribly unreasonable. Well frankly I shall be cutting off trade deals with them immediately. Which country are they from? Who ever heard of such nonsense! I shall be forced to engage the army if this continues. I wish to speak to their King.
Azzy: Guns and swords aren't Sera's thing. We tried. She has her magic and maybe I don't always like it but she can defend herself with it. Believe me. Between her powers and mine we will be fine.
Arlo: The lady downstairs from me has a set of golf clubs. I guess I'll take a golf club and Ab's can have ummmm, shit, what else have I got around here? I have an old guitar I don't use anymore, she could probably swing that right? Can we run away from them?
Matteo: I do not think we have to worry about the zombies with you, Mon Amie.
Arlo: Huh? Why not? Am I like immune?
Matteo: They are after the brains, no?
Arlo: No what?
Matteo: ....... I think my point is proven
Frost: This is my favourite conversation
What is your favourite memory with your best friend.
Matteo: Ah, so many! The time we climbed the Eiffel Tower, the baptism of my first son, the party in Rio, the battle of Beersheba, the foursome we had in Japan....and Ireland.....and Germany, riding the plains of Mongolia, camping at the artic circle, waiting the northern lights in Norway, seeing Svalbard, my whole life with him is my faouvirte memory.
Tobias: When Tetra....and Tobi.....play the video games.....in Tetra's room and eat the....candy and it is.....just as like it....should be. Just us. This....is my favourite time. Like when....we were young.
Frost: We came to an understanding about one another. We had a meaningful conversation it....meant a lot. That is my favourite memory. And killing Xerxes.
Dorian: Where to start! I have so many! Goodness but I could hardly pick one. The aquariuam and eating the fish and chips and watching the stars, our wedding day, our wedding night, I do not have a moment with him I do not love.
Azzy: The time we were in the car after I spent like a billion fucking dollars on that cat she had to have and she didn't realise it was out one year anniversary. She said we wouldn't make it. Who was right, Sera? Who was right?
Arlo: The time I asked her to go out with me and be my girlfriend. That was a pretty damn good night.
What is your least favourite memory with your friend?
Matteo: The time I lost a bet with him and he made me be an Uber Eats Driver for a month. This is the worst career I have ever had. Aiden kept wanting food for free. He kept phoning me! Also that time he sent a woman to my tent after one of the wars we had one. It went far further then I care to admit before I realised it was a man. I have not forgiven him.
Tobias: Sometimes Tetra.....loves paper....more than me.
Frost: He continues to confiscate my cupcakes. I don't appreciate this Alex.
Dorian: I do not think I have- yes I do. He thinks I do not know but I know he swims with the sting rays sometimes and does not tell me. I do not like this.
Azzy: She picked all the olives off my pizza one time. Im low key still mad.
Arlo: I still feel kinda bad about calling her a cat for like....months.
If you were to gift your friend a present what would you gift them?
Matteo: The world. He would like that. I got it tattooed on my feet just so he couldn't have it all to himself.
Tobias: Cookies that are....chocolate chip and....games for our PlayStation.
Frost: Every movie ever made about him so he could sit there and critique them all.
Dorian: A chocolate fountain. I have considered it before but I fear he might never cease to drink from it if we were to get one.
Azzy: The big house I know she wants and the blank cheque for her to design it anyway she liked with whatever she wants in it. Women know how to design things. She'd probably do a damn better job than me.
Arlo: That's easy, a fruit basket, or maybe a garden filled with fruit trees so she could have as much as she wanted whenever she liked.
The world is about to end. What are your final words to your best friend?
Matteo: Merci et je t'aime aussi
Tobias: Are there cookies....and....PlayStation....in hell?
Dorian: Why do you think you are going to hell?
Tobias: Always...people say to....Tobi and Tetra....'Go to hell!' So....this is where we...are going. If they....have cookies and.....PlayStation this.....is ok.
Dorian: Do you know I quite think you don't understand the-.
Frost: It's my turn. The Breadstick doesn't understand what you're saying. Don't waste your breath on him. I suppose my final words would be SjÃ¡umst Ã¡ hinum megin.
Dorian: Well. I am quite certain it is now my turn and I find you impolite. As for my final words to Sebastian I think there would be far too many to say! I should wish to say a world of things to him. How much I loved him and the life we had together. How much I cared for and adore-
Azzy: Christ, we get it. You like the vampire. You probably failed that Island test didn't you? Whatever. Are these answers going to be published? I'd probably tell her I loved her. She'd probably laugh at me. Look, I know its not as heartfelt as the bloody Fairy-boy before me but....those words are hard to say. I mean them though. I do damn well love her.
Arlo: Id probably ask Ab's to marry me, I mean, I'm going to anyway but like....i'd like to at least get her answer before the world ended. After that my final words would probably be 'oh fuck' because, I mean, what else do you say?
Matteo, Tobias, Frost, Dorian, Azzy, Arlo: Happy Anniversary :P