Family seemed to mean a great deal to Alexander, if his fond treatment of Anastasia and the nostalgic look on his face when he spoke of his early years was any indication. She was hungry to know all that he wanted her to. When she told him hore specifically why she didn't want children, she could see the instant understanding and she let out a breath of relief. She didn't want him to feel that she disliked children. She loved children and the idea of them, her own, some day. She just didn't want them in that environment. But this; a stable pack at her back and a gorgeous man she got to call her own. Well, that wouldn't be so bad. He agreed it wouldn't be ideal and she nodded with a small smile. "Thank you for understanding. I didn't want you to have the wrong idea." She admitted.
She didn't know how much the curiosity showed on her own features until he asked her what she was thinking. She blinked for a moment at the question, caught off guard. But then she cleared her throat and shrugged. "Oh, nothing, really. I just want to know all about your childhood and what you were like growing up. I know that's a lot and I didn't know if you were ready for that kind of sharing so I didn't want to push." She let out a soft sigh, feeling a little lighter now that she'd gotten it out, anyway. He could always tell her "not now" and she wouldn't be offended. Disappointed, maybe, but never offended. She would gladly take whatever he gave her. He meant a lot to her. She was happy enough to hear about his first ride and his time with horses. His love for them was so obvious, it was downright adorable.
When she put up her walls over his question of her own stories, she saw the instant disappointment on his features and it broke something in her. She hated that look on his face, and hated that she was the one who put it there. She should be able to tell him anything, just like he shared with her. It was only fair. But even as she was steeling herself, he changed the subject to dessert and she was able to admit her sweet tooth. He seemed amused, chuckling before he flagged down the waitress. She glanced over the menu that was brought to them and pointed out a key lime pie slice with chocolate mousse to the waitress. "That sounds good. Never had it before."
Alexander asked after her drawings then and she blinked in surprise. It had been so long since it was mentioned that she was sure he might have forgotten her hobby. It made her feel fluttery inside that he would remember something so small. She admitted that she did and was further surprised that he asked to see her drawings. He looked so encouraging that she felt her heart melting. She nodded. "I'd like that. Maybe I'll bring them by the cafe next time I work?" She figured that would be the next time they saw each other. Mostly, they hung out at work and since this was her first date, she wasn't sure how it went from here. Did she just wait for another invitation to go out? How did invitations to each other's houses get into the mix? Was there a timeline for that happening or would they just stick to public places? This whole dating thing was so confusing to her.
She didn't know how well Alexander and Frost knew each other, only that they did. They talked like they were at least acquaintances at that dance that felt like it was oh so long ago, anyway. Maybe they never spoke now but since Frost was a Were Horse and Alexander used Were's as mounts, she had to wonder if it was just coincidence or if there was some stronger link between the two men. When she started to tell him the story, she watched his face, even as her own gaze filled with tears, but his reaction was hard to decipher. He did tell her that she gave the man a mercy when she killed him and she nodded with a sniffle, knowing he was right. He said that Frost would never put her in that position again and furrowed her brows just a little in thought. She wanted to say that he was right, Frost would never put her through that again cause she'd stick an arrow in him before he could even try, but she held her tongue.
There was a finality in Alexander's voice when he said it that made her thoughtful, like he already had a plan in mind to do just that. So maybe it wasn't such a coincidence, after all. As he reached across the table, she tensed automatically, thinking of his ability to read minds. But just as quickly as she thought it, she relaxed. This wasn't something she wanted to hide from him, not anymore. When his hand touched hers, she let out a soft breath of contentment, taking comfort from just his touch alone. She didn't care if he could see into her mind right now, if he was even trying to. She only cared that he still wanted to touch her, even after the things she shared with him. He told her that she didn't have to worry about normal conversation with him, cause neither of them were normal. She gave a small smile at that.
When he thanked her for telling him, she nodded and used her free hand to wipe her eyes. "That wasn't the end of our contact. When we met again, my friend Raven came upon us and tried to get him away from me. He used his power on her then and beat her to within an inch of her life right in front of me. I was weak then. I should have done something, but I froze up and watched him almost kill my best friend. I'll never forgive myself for that." She closed her eyes for a second, taking a shuddering breath. When she opened her eyes, they were angry as she stared ahead, not at Alexander, but like she was glaring at Frost himself in her memory. "Then he dragged me along so he could dump her unconscious body at the Ark for Tetradore and the others to find. Tetradore attacked him, of course, the minute he saw Raven. And again...I just stood there, too frozen to do anything." She shook her head, angry with herself.
Only then, did she look at Alexander. "I'm not telling you this so you go off on Frost. It's in the past. I'll never forget but I haven't seen him in months, so who knows what he's like now? I'm telling you this so you know a little about me, the me you met all those months ago in that cafe. I was a scared, weak, woman. I'd like to say I've changed, that I came back stronger after my father and the pack attacked me, but I know she's still in there, somewhere. I'm still that scared, weak-willed woman. I've just gotten better at hiding it." She looked down at the table, right as the waitress came with their desserts. Silently, she waited for Alexander to speak. Would he still touch her knowing this, too?