Dorian was indeed a very unique creature to be around. She appreciated him entirely, glad to see that over time, he remained as he was. She could remember when he had shown her true genuine kindness reassuring her in his own way that she was indeed a good person, wolf and all. She did not tell him of her terrible condition, finding it not necessary for him to know. Would he truly say all those nice things he did about her, if he knew the terrible truth, that deep within the recess of her mind she was harboring a dangerous creature that could come out at any moment? Perhaps there was a reason why she and Tobias seemed to come together like a moth to a flame. Both had a different side of themselves that would cause to see them nothing more than defects. It was a good thing that Dorian and Sam had found one another and he joined Sam's monarchy. There was safety in numbers and it was important for creatures of the same species to bond with their own kind. It was an instinctual need and it would seem even Fae's had that similar need. While the conversation transferred to the relationship of her Alpha and the Fae Queen beside her, to what would occur between the two packs, her eyes would shift upwards to meet Sam's the moment she spoke about the two not saying they loved one another. Raven had said it so many times to her mate, reassuring both his sides that she was there to stay beside him. Tobi had his own way of showing her loved her, even voicing out that he liked her best, however she had yet to hear him utter those three words. She had heard those three words come from his lips, only once, when his sane half told her as they sat entangled with one another on top of the Ark's deck, waiting for the sunrise to pierce the sky. For a girl that never experienced love from another before, hearing those words were far more meaningful than one would think. A small knowing smile etched itself on her mauled face, as she nodded politely, encouraging the Fae Queen it would happen, one day.

"It will come in time, when you say it to one another."

When she read her books or watched the shows on TV, she observed how girls would approach the male, asking on behalf of their friend or enemy, whether the male loved that individual or not. Sometimes the male would say it and the friend would gleefully run to her friend and tell her the good news, and the ending would turn our sweet. However, there were other times when it would turn into a terrible disaster. She had learned that neither outcome was worth doing it â€" even if Sam asked her to do such a thing or not. Even if she did, Raven would never dare to ask her Alpha whether he loved Sam or not. It was not her place to ask or even know. Such trivial things did not stay in her head for long, rather it shifted into much darker, painful thoughts that did nothing more than twist her insides completely. While she explained to Sam the parentage of the children and her removal of being in their lives, her face had lost all color. Blue-grey eyes held such an agonizing pain as she vocally expressed the truth, all those thoughts she buried deep down had come to the surface once more. Who could blame Raven to feel hate, betrayal, even jealously, all rapped into one? No one would never understand and no one seemed to bother with it, because she didn't bring it up or argue about it. All she did was bind those darker emotions and thoughts and casted them into a hidden place, attempting to numb herself to it until she didn't think about it any longer. It pained her in more ways in one â€" she wanted to be in their lives, and at times she wished to have nothing to do with them. What was right or what was wrong, what was acceptable by pack law and what wasn't. The inner turmoil within her was hardly noticed by anyone, and in a way she was grateful and disturbed at the same time.

Sam reaching out to her and laying her fingers on her arm did nothing more than cause the woman to flinch and suddenly grow still. She wasn't a creature that accepted touch from others. She knew Sam wasn't going to hurt her and yet she felt wounded all the same. Instead of looking to Sam, pained eyes remained entirely on those colorful books, her vision suddenly growing blurry, as she choked down a silent sob. She could feel her eyes watering and yet no tears dared to spill and stain her scarred face. The apologies coming from Sam didn't do anything to cure the strong feelings she felt. It wasn't Sam's apologies that would help her at all. Those apologies had to come from someone else, and Raven knew far too well, that the apology that she deserved would never come. Not once had Nadya come and apologize for her mistake. Here in this very bookstore Raven found Nadya buying books about parenthood, whereas she was buying books for Tetradore and how to run his business. This was where she made Nadya come with her to go to Planned Parenthood and see a doctor that was of their species. At Planned Parenthood was where she correctly accused Nadya that she was part of the problem that she needed to go through with the ultrasound, and instead of running away actually stay there and listen to what the medical professionals would say. It was Raven that helped Nadya see she was carrying twins, it was Raven that assured Nadya that they would get through this one way or another - together, Nadya got her prenatal vitamins, and other necessary paperwork and information at Planned Parenthood, but it was because Raven made her go there and she went with her. The meek girl didn't have to be there, she didn't have to care or help Nadya in any particular manner. When they left, Raven didn't even get a Thank You from Nadya.

Raven was there and she was thrown aside, even when she tried to help keep the cubs safe from Regan. In both those moments Raven cast aside her anger and pain, and had been there for Nadya, whether her presence was wanted or not. Raven was the real pack mate, even though Nadya never showed her that same act. It would seem that Nadya had forgotten all that, but Raven remembered it all. Such memories of those two days were dashed the moment Sam asked about herself and Tobias. With a shake of her head she moved away from the Fae. No one had told Raven that it was possible for her and Tobias to have children, what Raven knew was what she was taught, and that was there was no such thing as mixed Weres producing children. Her voice was soft and filled with indescribable agony as she turned and continued to walk down the aisle of books, her shoulders weighing down in terrible defeat.

"No, because we cannot have children. We are Weres, but our sub-species is different. I don't think about the possibilities."

Raven Clocksworth.