Having normal, human guests in your house was unnerving. Did you host well? Were you gracious? And if these humans were your friends, did you treat them with enough familiarity that they didn't get upset when you did something like accidentally get them too drunk, or ... Oh wait, never have I had normal human guests. What were they even like? With a remotely disgusted shiver, I followed the were-leopard into my kitchen, almost hoping that Morgan Freeman would be there to document the tails oops... Tales of the were-leopard trying to make himself food in the microwave. I think that would be just peachy, seeing Morgan Freeman sitting at one of my barstools in order to get a better angle while he watched Tobias bat at the microwave of doom. Instead of assuming that said situation was going to occur, I snuck a beer from the fridge and bent the metal off without using my hands above the trash can so I would have even less actions I needed to exert. Once properly seated in at a pleasant vantage point, I took a swig of my drink to keep from watching him too intently, only to be proved that this was a poor choice as Tobias makes further comments that make absolutely no valid sense. With beer nearly rising through my nose with a laugh, I shook my head.

"Sharks don't live in showers. There isn't enough space for them; they're like... 15 feet long and stuff."

The explanation should suffice as it was short and sweet, appealing not only to the boy's undeveloped mind but also the fear that there might be sharks. Who the hell told him there would be sharks in the shower, anyway? I thought cats were purveyors of all things clean, but then again... A vet definitely told me once that if you try and help your cat groom itself they will become incredibly offended as they would start thinking you don't think they did a good enough job. Does that apply, here? With a thoughtful shrug, I took another sip of my beer, only to be proved it was a poor choice yet again. With a grin, I nodded to Tobias' statement.

"Dear God, yes they do. Women have a lot of feelings."

As the microwave began its secondary onslaught, I couldn't help laughing out loud. The proclamation that the kitchen device was female began to seem incredibly on point. Why else would it sound so many alarms at you? Why else would it swing its door haphazardly towards your face while you simply waited expectantly for your instant gratification in the form of food? With a wry smile, I finished the rest of my drink under the debate of whether or not to provide Tobias with the insight that I completely agreed to his idea that the microwave, was indeed, female. In terms of his next idea, though, I find myself hardly able to cooperate or agree. With a sigh of resignation, I shake my head.

"You're not the boss of any female, Tobi. Women tend to be our bosses. Maybe that's why you got slapped," I pointed out. As the were-leopard begins to devour his creation, I feel like I have to hand him a prize for innovation. The shlop that is the cookie dough looks relatively tastey, and with a shrug I wave it off before heading back to survey the apartment, letting him eat in peace for a moment. Fortunately, Tobias decides to share and who am I to say no? With a nod, I pleasantly take some of the melted cookie and unceremoniously devour it. As if it were a finale of our interaction, the boy announces his need to leave, and I find myself nodding, though I'm not incredibly sure why I am going to subject myself to his whims again...

"If that's what you want to call it, yeah. Come back whenever you feel like it."

Church absolutely howls his disapproval that his new man friend is leaving, promptly squatting to pee on Tobias' shoes. I leave their furry little feline discrepancies to themselves though after waving goodbye to my new-found ... Leopard.