so why'd you have to rain on my parade?
I'm shaking my head. I'm locking the gates.
There had once been a time when settling along the couch with Dorian would have been as natural as breathing. After all, how many times before had they curled side by side under blankets to watch movies? This should not have been a foreign concept, and yet the last time the two of them were comfortable amongst each other, Dorian had not been internationally recognized as the King of Italy. They had just been the two of them, a faerie queen and her closest friend. Now, sitting upon those couches may have been just as physically comfortable, but there was a pack of elephants in the room that kept Samantha slightly on edge and kept her spine just slightly straighter than what she would have been if she were truly comfortable. There was a weight in the room now, a weight that Samantha had put there herself the moment she'd so selfishly abandoned Sacrosanct and left it all, including Dorian, behind.
Samantha's simper only grew at Dorian's comment, the redhead immediately shaking her head. "No, nothing like that," Samantha assured him. She reached up, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear as she thought. "His name is Kit Marks. You... you actually know his brother, Troy," Samantha offered a small smile, though she made no further explanation of exactly the complicated way that she had come to know and love both of the Marks brothers. "As for talking to him, you'll do no such thing." Samantha, at least not yet, didn't dare mention - lest she encourage him! - that she was sure Kit would marry her with the slightest suggestion. How did she explain to her traditionalist best friend that it was Samantha herself that was hesitant to settle down? "Things will come in time, I'm sure of it. The important thing to remember is that we're happy. And very excited to be parents."
Once again, silence fell upon the pair as she considered exactly what it would mean to settle down. Her eyes scanned along the shelves and nooks of the room, taking in the elegant decor and the plethora of family photos. Again and again, her eyes caught on one familiar face in those photos, Samantha remaining wholly surprised by the distinct lack of pain seeing those green eyes caused her. For a moment, Samantha considered asking after the Were King. Was he happy? Safe? Healthy? And yet, even despite the time that had passed, she found she didn't want to know all the details of his personal life. Even though she was happy with another, she was sure that she didn't need the details if he'd also found someone else, just as she didn't think he needed to know her situation.
Dorian's gentle prompting brought Samantha's attention back to the present, her attention once more focused on the reasons that she was there. Her fingers drifted across her stomach, the touch prompting that flurry of emotions she'd come to recognize as belonging to her unborn child. That empathetic ability seeming to expand effortlessly onto her child. It would be a gift, later, she was sure. Still, Samantha assured her companion that she was good, and of her return to the city. But Samantha hardly gave him any chance to congratulate her or speak on the excitement that was her return to the city, instead insisting that she was there for three reasons. The first was, perhaps, an obvious one. Of course she had missed him and struggled with the guilt of how she had abandoned him. Still, Samantha continued speaking and was gracious that he didn't interrupt her for those final two things. First, that thinly veiled excuse to be near him - a job - and secondly - the most important reason she was here - that she couldn't think of another person more qualified in this world to be her child's godparent.
She was well aware of the shock on his features as she finished, her attention fully focused on the face of the Italian King as she waited for a response. One that immediately focused on the feminine term that she had used so easily. Slowly, Samantha nodded, a small smile spreading across her features. "Yes," She said happily, that genuine excitement bursting out of her. "I had a feeling. You know my affinities. It's what made me think I was pregnant in the first place. I could feel her, and so I had the feeling that she was a girl. My doctor confirmed it, though, just yesterday." How thrilled the young woman had been to find out her intuition was right. Still, Samantha paused, eagerly awaiting his response to her line of questioning.
His initial words, those full of forgiveness and love, nearly brought tears to the young woman's eyes. She had expected Dorian to be more angry with her. But Samantha had never known Dorian to truly have an angry bone in his body. Still, his forgiveness felt like a weight lifted off of her. "And I will always be your friend. I don't anticipate leaving any time soon, at least not permanently. But I will also make sure you have my phone number and email address. That way you'll never not know how to get ahold of me." It was, after all, the very least that Samantha could do to prove her seriousness to hold on to his friendship. Never again did she want to not be able to talk to her friend, nor did she ever want him to feel that abandonment, at least not from her.
Still, Samantha fell silent once more to allow the Monarch time to speak. Samantha tried not to let her face fall as he phrased that rejection, even if the young mother hardly found herself needing
a job. Kit had reassured her they had plenty to live on and care for their child, and yet Samantha had a reoccurring nightmare of raising her child on a broken futon mattress. Samantha shook her head at his mention of living in Italy, a small simper appearing on her sweetheart lips. "No, I have no desire to live in Italy." His rejection, though she could see the way he hated to let her down, was hardly cause for concern to the young woman. No, it was the other thing she'd requested of the Italian King that would break her heart should it end in rejection. "I appreciate all the reasons you'd not want me to work for you, and truly, I would mostly just like to find a reason to spend more time with you and reconnect, and perhaps it would be better to be upfront about that instead of the guise that I truly want to work for you. Though, I will say, it would be an honor to do anything I could do to insure your success as King of Italy."
Samantha was content to allow the subject to drop, her voice falling silent as she allowed him to speak his answer to her final request. His easy acceptance bringing that broad smile to her features once more. Easily, Samantha reached across the space that separated them and took his hand, giving it an easy squeeze. "Dorian, there is no better person in this world to be the godparent to my daughter. You have been the truest friend I've ever had, and I know your loyalty and love will be a wonderful influence on her." Samantha gave his hand a final squeeze before she leaned back in her chair. It was his final statement that brought Samantha's attention back to the Monarch. Ah, of course Dorian would have considered that.
"Truly, I'm not really. I suppose my parents were when I was growing up, but I'll admit that my own spirituality is a bit... lapsed." Samantha offered him a small shrug. "But I was hoping you'd take on the role to help my child with that. And the other stuff a godparent can be responsible for, because I don't think anyone can have too many people in their lives to love them unconditionally." Samantha let her fingers drift over her stomach once more in that affectionate gesture before she returned her gaze to Dorian.
"I was hoping, actually, that you and Sebastian would share the role. To be her godparents. I know I wasn't... I wasn't fair to Sebastian when I met him, and I'm sure he doesn't think very highly of me given everything that has happened between us since that night. But I would really like to change that." The young fae felt horrible about the way that she had treated Dorian's husband by faulting him for a night that neither of them had been in any sort of control. Samantha was sure that to mend her relationship with Dorian meant fully accepting the man he loved. "I hope to make things right with Sebastian as well."
this is why we can't have nice things