you were the answer to my dreams

Sebastian himself was entirely uncertain of those feelings that so plagued him upon been given a gift quite to this magnitude. He knew many of his kind would have given nearly anything for a glimpse of that sunrise again, to feel the warmth on their skin again, to see the world as it should be and indeed that knowledge alone was enough that Sebastian found himself hardly able to take that present for granted, much less deny it. Still, at this point, he had been vampire far longer than he had been human and, like most, with age he had come to accept and, indeed, find a sort of comfort in his way of life. To be given a glimpse into that past that was so terribly far gone all over again brought with it a slew of emotions he hadn't been prepared to deal with. He was afraid - afraid of the sun, afraid of the harm he could fall upon, afraid that the world might not live up to the splendor that he so remembered it being, afraid even of enjoying this present only for it to come to an end and yet, equally afraid that his lack of enthusiasm might somehow insult his lover into thinking he somehow abhorred the idea all together. And yet, even he could not deny the part of him that was hopeful, that wanted this thing he could not have, that indeed, yearned for it entirely whilst another portion shrank away, entirely assured that the darkness was where he belonged and, in turn, where he should stay.

He was aware, however, of the exceeding care in which Dorian so used with his words, even if there was a tone to those lyrics he hadn't heard before echoed within his lover's accented words. His eyebrows furrowed ever so softly as he was presented with a glimpse of that light that the King held dominion over, so watching it nearly radiate from his own skin in a way that it certainly should not. Life. After two hundred years he had life running through his veins, a life that he was destined to forever chase after and yet never achieve. In those precious moments, Sebastian hadn't even the slightest inclination of how that very life he was so squandering so in turn affected his lover. He hadn't even considered the hows of Dorian's artistry. After all, he himself was hardly able to explain how he could so produce love in others with those red strings, much less the overwhelming want. It simply...was and, in turn, Sebastian too anticipated this was much in the same way Dorian's own ability worked. He assumed the King wanted his heart beating to manipulate the life within him, not to press his own life into those cold dead veins.

It was, however, that window that so coaxed the man and slowly he rose so to leave his lover upon that bed, his own gaze entirely steadfast to the brightening world outside. It was only Dorian's comment that he must be brave that saw his attention drift towards his lover once again, inquiring after just how much experience the King had with bringing things such as him back to life. After all, although he believed that Dorian himself believe he was capable, Sebastian could hardly help those tendrils of worry for his own well being that so threatened to pull at his heart. He watched as Dorian so seemed to consider the best fashion in which to so answer those probing curiosities and yet, by the same token apart of him was concerned for the answer he might receive. His lips pressed together in thought before he slowly nodded at Dorian's assurance that he had, to some degree, managed something slightly like this before. He could hardly deny the relief he felt. Even amongst this torrent of selfish desires, of fear and sadness and excitement, that ever present possessiveness of his lover still somehow shone through.

It was the King's movements that so capture his attention, his gaze watching his lover as he approached the frosted window. There was a confidence within his voice, of that Sebastian was particularly aware of and yet, he supposed, with a history of King, such a resounding emotion was easy enough to so call upon. And yet, even so, had he not trusted Dorian with everything else? With his life on that first evening and everyone there after? With his phone number so he could be contact at a moment's notice? With his heart and his soul? With the existence of Belton itself? He supposed, what more was this? If he was to so die by Dorian's affinity then perhaps it was better than a life so bound by the darkness. Slowly, the vampire nodded ever so slightly before he inquired in a softened whisper for the temperature outside. It was, however, that new found outlook, and tentative trust, that saw Sebastian's thoughts momentarily wander to what places in Belton he might so like to see beneath the light of the sun. That beautiful orangery with those large glass windows was perhaps the only place that so intrigued him, those gardens were not quite the same, he was assured, beneath the pale light of the moon.

Dorian's fingertips so interlacing within his own momentarily drew his attention, a small frown crossing his lips at what this 'first' thing they must do so consisted of. And yet, despite this, Sebastian hardly saw it in him to argue, instead following his lover as Dorian so lead him towards a mirror positioned in front of that wall. He was hardly oblivious to that change within himself, not when it so stared back at him. He was aware of that warm color to his flesh, that bright look within his eyes and too the way even his hair regained that slightly washed out look on the top from that summer he'd spent so much time outside before he'd died all those years ago. He looked hardly any different then he did that night and yet, his gaze shifted in that mirror to the form of the King at his side, all too aware of that smile upon Dorian's features. He should have been pleased with this look of life and yet, it was but fleeting was it not? Still, those French lyrics caused a small shrug to cross his shoulders. He looked beautiful and it was that very thing that had caused his death in the first place, because she had thought so too. "Thank you. Though don't get used to it." He responded, attempting to so tease his companion, after all, he should scarcely let his own swaying mood so taint that gift in which is companion was so willing to give.

Still, even he was aware of that slowly brightening room as Dorian so stepped away from his form and immediately his own reflection was forgotten, his gaze so tracing that horizon over that veritable field of snow. His eyebrows knitted together, unable to deny that apprehension that gripped his soul even now and yet, he remained exactly where he was. In fact, it was Dorian's outstretched and and that soft voice that so accompanied it that caused his gaze to flicker from the window to his companion and yet, he so hesitated to reach out for those fingers he often eagerly held within his own hands. Instead, his gaze fluttered to the window and back again. Dorian had asked for trust. And for courage. Before this moment he had so freely given the man both, to take back those promises he had uttered now....to deny this chance? No, he could never deny Dorian. Slowly, he nodded, reaching out to let his hand brush against his lovers and yet, as he moved to stand at Dorian's side in front of the window, Sebastian's other hand balled into this thick curtains, letting that fabric of comfort so nestle against his cheek as his gaze shifted towards those colors that were slowly beginning to chase away that darkness. It was his first sunrise in one hundred and seventy eight years and all Sebastian could do was stare in wonder.

Sebastian Ellington