The dam of emotions in which gave way within her that night, had unleashed something so massive that it couldn't be put back in, the damage was done. All those years of honing a blade to dive into the heart of the world and dwell in that blissful apathetic mayhem, all gone in but a moment. At first it was a split fray of a string of inhumanity, but each passing moment it unraveled leaving her very soul into a complicated tangled heap of thread. The very life she had once know was gone.
"You made me feel and now I cannot turn it off." She croaked, wanting nothing more than to roar until the walls rattled, to scream and slash and bite like some rabid wild animal frothing at the mouth. She tries to move, but she is too weak, too frail. She was once a goddess with her illusions, to break the fragments of reality into her own making. The very humans she so devoured were nothing but sacrifices to fuel her. Each sacrifice was chosen with precision, some were subconscious choices that reminded her of ghosts of the past, an echo throughout time that had no correlation from one period to the next. Her favorite was the pure, humans whose blood was free from toxins littering their bloodstream, there was nothing like it. But sometimes at the very end of all, all she ever wanted was a game, with the hopes someone would be able to outsmart at her own diabolical psychosis. Perhaps, even by no acknowledgment of his own, Sebastian had done just that. Aware or not.
All the woman knew was that she couldn't live like this, within a well of mediocrity. It rattled like marbles in her head, hammering over and over within her skull that it threated to explode. She hadn't even realized she had been chanting the same words over and over, 'I can't' her own mind silently but chaotically dissecting them to make sense of something she was so hopeless to understand. Sebastian's words somehow cut through the utter chaos that is her mind. How desperately she wishes to believe him at this moment. She had not realized her fingers despairingly clung to the fabric of this pristine shirt, the very material threating to rip beneath her hands, but it does not, her grip barely that of a mortal.
The ashen vampire drew in an appalling ragged breath before she begged. Begged him as she had never begged before. How she prayed for death, in those very moments. At the very least, the man who had inflicted this curse upon her could take it all away. It had to be better than a life without meaning. There was only one way out of this torment and if he could not fix her, he had to end her. It was so very dramatic and yet her whole life was altered beyond any repair. She was like a newborn vampire but far worse! She was at his mercy of Sebastian himself and he denies the very thing she asked for. No one ever denied her before. She was hardly aware of those concerned summer blue eyes staring at her while she asked him to put her out of her misery.
She recoiled as if he were the sun itself, his words very near struck her, unsteady on her very feet as she nearly topples over to meet the ground below. "Why not?" She hissed, but the words are weaker than she ever imagined as a shockwave rattled her very core, sending her body into sickening tremors. She was a husk of what she had once been and truthfully, even if she could hunt and function like a vampire should, a vampire with... emotions were no life to her at all. How could Sebastian stand it? The thought alone made her violently sick to her stomach. Even still, if she could live this life that he claimed, she would be forever changed. Why would anyone one to live this life.... feeling? Why would anyone want the battle of emotions hammering down upon her, a slave to them always? Why would anyone want to live a life of feeling, flooded with nothing but wanting and disappointment? Why would anyone want to feel the hurt, the loss, the suffocating torment of what human's felt every cursed day of their lives!? Those unique teal eyes search his face, wanting only what he would not give her.
The vampire woman was entirely oblivious to the way he tries to make sense of their past encounter. Lies, his calming soothing words had to be lies. A promise of another way, it had seemed so far from reality, and yet she could not draw the strength to fight him. His words are so very reassuring as though they were everything she needed to hear in that pivotal moment. Food didn't sound so bad at that moment, surely not. She peered up at his face, wide-eyed and terrified. Yet she was met with only the warmest of smiles, a look that could surely melt iciest of hearts. She in turn nearly slumps her shoulders, knowing she was going to accept any crumbs he so offered. "Maybe.." Was all she could manage, her voice is nothing but a breath. Why should she care about mortals? Why should she worry about every single life like it was precious? How little meaning they all possessed in that grand picture.
That was when he spoke her name, drawing her out of that nearly neurotic reverie, his voice so gentle, that matched his touch. That soft brush against her jawline that leaves her defeated before him. However, it caused her to draw her fallen, vacant gaze upward to peer upon him. "No, not me. I.... wanted to die. But I was not allowed to do so." So no, she was quite the opposite to the royal vampire before her. Fearful from death she never had been, she had only wanted to embrace it.
Such different people Sebastian and Petra were. Sebastian somehow seeing the light in humanity and joy within while Petra had despised it, all of it. She was a byproduct of what humanity made her and she blamed every last living being for it thereafter. Humanity was ugly, and she couldn't even light the match to destroy it. Why? Because the guilt would be too strong.
Petra finally began to concede, hardly able to muster the will to fight him, that soothing wash of his powers made short work of her. She couldn't even summon a spark of an illusion even if she tried. He was so quick to seize upon that moment to at least try this new way of being. In but a moment, those sweet yet gentle words seem to coax her from that feeble shell. Wrapping her arm around her waist so he could undoubtedly control where they went, away from that house, away from those people she had heard bustling deep within the grounds.
It is that promise that she could have her choice that perhaps stoke a glimmer of hope within her eerie teal eyes. "Anyone?" She repeats, perhaps this wouldn't be that bad after all. "Bye pony.." She muttered meekly underneath her breath, almost sad to say goodbye to that warm, creature to depart into the night.
They melted into the darkness as his words pique her interest once more. "I want something... untainted." Pure. Everything that she wasn't. They moved toward the impressive gates of that massive estate, but she is a mere ghost, not even convinced she were even in the present. "Where are we going? I smell something over there.." She tries to point but her raised hand falls back down weakly at her side.